Witness To Love (WTL) Overview
The Witness to Love marriage preparation process is somewhat different than other programs. Below are some helpful resources for you to understand the program’s approach and your involvement as the marrying priest:
FAQ and Program Outline: WTL Info Flyer
Process Overview: WTL Process Overview
Couple’s Initial Meeting With Their Priest:
In the WTL process, the first meeting that the engaged couple has at the church is with you, their priest. Your goal for this meeting is to get to know the couple a little bit, get a few questions answered for your intake form (Priest's Intake Form), and introduce them to the Witness to Love model. You don’t need to describe the whole process; that will be covered by the coach couple at their next meeting. Just give them an idea of what it will look like.
Choosing a Mentor Couple
At this initial meeting you will tell the couple about choosing a mentor couple. The criteria for mentor couples:
1. Married 5 years or more in the Catholic Church
2. Active in the Church
3. Have a marriage and family the engaged both admire
4. Go to the same church as the engaged do now, OR attend the church where they will be married, OR attend the church that they will be attending after the wedding
5. Should not be immediate family members
In the Clergy Notes, there are several bullet points about things to convey when introducing them to the idea of choosing a mentor couple. You want the couple to choose a mentor couple with whom they will form a connection and grow together through the process. The mentor couple does not need to be an expert in theology or anything else – the Theology Retreat and follow-up meeting will cover the Church’s teachings in areas that might get confused by uninformed opinions. What the engaged couple needs is a couple who will help them learn about how to be married, and who will hopefully form part of their basis of support for a healthy marriage.
There is a link from the Blessed Sacrament website (on the Witness to Love page) regarding choosing a mentor couple, so the engaged can easily look up the criteria. You can encourage them to contact the coordinator (Monica Bernstein) if they have questions or difficulties in finding a mentor couple.
Before the Initial Meeting with the engaged couple
o Review the Clergy Notes with goals and tips for the initial meeting: Clergy Notes.
o Understand the hows and whys of choosing a mentor couple
o Have an Intake Form printed and ready
For more information on the Initial Meeting from Mary Rose Verret, one of the WTL founders, please see Session 2 of the training and watch the first 8 minutes. To find the training, please go to https://app.witnesstolove.org/. Sign in as frdominicdavid@bspwa.org, using “BSPwa!” as the password. Then go to Witness to Love Training Series: Parish Certification, and choose Session 2: How it Works, Part 1.
After the Initial Meeting with the engaged couple
o Please email the Witness to Love email address (WTL@bspwa.org) to let both Virginia and Monica know that you have met with the couple and they're ready to proceed with the rest of the program. This step is crucial for getting the couple started with the Witness to Love program.
Meeting With Engaged and Mentor Couples After the Theology Retreat
The mentor couple will invite you to join them for the 5th meeting with their engaged couple after the Theology Retreat. Usually this meeting happens at the mentor couple’s house and may include a meal or dessert.
At this meeting, you are the theology expert, and your role here is to explain and enlarge on the Church’s teachings on the Theology of Marriage in a way tailored to this engaged couple (and their mentor couple, should they have questions). By the time the engaged couple arrives at this night, they have had several meetings with their mentors, in addition to their Theology Retreat, and they have probably started their NFP classes. Hopefully, they are beginning to form an understanding of marriage as a Sacrament and have heard a lot about what the Church teaches.
Very likely, the engaged couple will have questions and comments from the retreat, so this evening will be a good opportunity to discuss these. Their questions will probably give you a good idea of where they are in their understanding of Church teaching and where there might be some gaps. Of course, one evening is not going to be enough to explain and convince couples of everything about Church teaching that might seem problematic to them, but it’s a good place to get the conversation going and show them that there are answers to their questions in the Church. You can encourage them to keep the dialogue going with you or with others in the Church if they want to learn more. Also consider recommending good books or resources for their further study.
There are also Clergy Notes on the Night 5 meeting after the Theology Retreat: Clergy Notes
There is a 35 minute video that goes more in-depth with a priest whose parish uses Witness to Love. Please visit the Bonus Material from the training app and go to https://app.witnesstolove.org/. As above, sign in with frdominicdavid@bspwa.org, using “BSPwa!” as the password. Then go to Witness to Love Training Series: Parish Certification, and select Bonus Content. Watch the video called “Looking at the Theology Discussion Night.”